How I Got Over a Nasty Case of WB

Urban Dictionary (truly the most reliable of all dictionaries) defines Writer's Block as such:

A point in writing where the writer runs head first into a brick wall in their writing process. Which may result in a writer bashing their head repeatedly into their keyboard/laptop/notebook/etc. until words or blood is freely flowing. Also might be because the characters are fed up with all the crap the author puts them through and go on strike.

What usually causes Writer's block for me is the much dreaded and only useful half of the time Inner Editor. Dun Dun DUN.

My Inner Editor looks like this. She doesn't bake me cookies or offer me iced tea. She's as mean as she looks. And she says stuff like, "You can't put that in your book--your parents, uncles, pastor, ladies in prayer group, etc. are going to read this! That line sounds about as corny as a bowl of corn flakes! You don't write as well as Suzanne Collins! Are you sure about that comma? Wah wah wah." On and on.

Usually I have no trouble ignoring her. Sometimes what she has to say is actually useful and I take it into consideration. And she will definitely come in handy when I'm going through line edits at the very end of this whole thing.

But these past weeks...

She's been ultra bitter. Let's say someone had their panties in a bunch and since she knew I was watching and doesn't like mistakes, she was afraid to just pull that wedgie and get on with her day. So she took her frustration out on me. It might also have to do with the fact that I'm so close to the end. I've sent out queries to six agents (Eeeeee!!), but more about that in another post. I know I said I'd have this out to my Betas almost a month ago, but I've learned things take longer than I expect and I'm still learning so much every day about writing and my style and all that good stuff I'll never completely have down.

Anyway, I've been working on a new scene I added to the story for the past two weeks. And most of those days, I'd sit down, stare at the page, get frustrated, type a line, erase that line, and watch an episode of Supernatural. Start over the next day. On the bright side, I am all caught up on Supernatural I learned a lot about my writing process.

Last night I was about to get started on that ugly cycle. But! This time I was for sure, for SURE going to get a lot done. And then my Inner Editor started in on the thousands of  reasons why every word I typed out totally sucked.

It was frustrating, kind of like this.

I could feel I was on the edge of a meltdown, so I tried to have one that was like this.

 But it wasn't working because by this point, I was whining like a two year old. So, I made a little rant status on Facebook because that SUPER productive and then danggit, I made a cuppa! (I learned from a Harry Potter cookbook the other day that Cuppa to the English is a cup of tea. As in "Let's go have a cuppa!")

Then with my tea in hand (tea fixes all), I knew what I had to do next. I had to show my Inner Editor which of us is Boss Lady (me). I opened a blank Word doc and started a story off the top of my head without caring in the least bit whether or not it was ridiculous or cheesy or scandalous. It worked! She retreated behind her editor desk with random mumbles about perfection and excellence, but I didn't care because I had the floor again. Score.

I looked at the beginning to the top-of-my-head story and saw that it was, in fact, not bad. Not bad at all. And I reminded myself there is no such thing as perfection, and if I aim for it every time I write, I end up with nothing but wasted time. I have to write my buns off and get a few crappy scenes to get those scenes that really rock. Besides, my Inner Editor will take care of those later.

So, I reminded myself of this:

   Then I gulped down the rest of my delicious tea and got to work. And the scene actually grew and was pretty good, if I do say so!

Cheers.

P.S. It's totally fine if not everyone agrees with what I write as long as I stay true to the story. Write on. 

Rockin' Revisions, Querying Quest, and Bubbly Betas

This last revision part was supposed to be easy. I went through and wrote out what corrections had to me made and then went through and made them. However, in doing so, I found holes in plot and what have you. So. I'm just working that stuff out, and then the book will be...ready for my betas! Back in September, I wrote about my need for beta readers. And I said it would be soon.

The revision part of writing is really hard, but I won't bore you with my whining. It's taken longer than I expected, and I'm sorry to anyone who talked to me about being a beta. I still need you, and I need you soon (for real this time)!

The difference between my betas and this betta fish is...a lot, actually. Hmm.

I'm giving myself until the March 20th to get this baby polished, and then I will have it off to you, my dear beloved betas! I'm in full-force mode because while looking at my calender, I discovered a beautiful lull in my schedule during these next couple weeks. Yay! That means hard core work time.

I'm also doing something very exciting (starting today...right now, after I post this). I'm sending out queries to literary agents! I'm finding egitimate agents I don't have to pay and who follow a code of ethics on a site called the Association of Author's Representatives. I've done my research, and this is the pace to find an agent. I've researched many of them and picked the ones looking for the kind of novel I have written.

Ahhh! I'm absolutely tickled. I think I'm supposed to be terrified, too, but I'm not feeling that. I'm confident that God has me just where He wants me and has given me all I need to succeed. I should hear back from any agent(s) who want to represent me within 3-6 weeks of sending out my query. In that time, I will have sent out my novel to my betas.

So, yes! Good stuff is happening. Thank you to everyone who has been there for me all along. Thank you to my betas for your patience and willingness to help me and for your input I'm sure will be ever so helpful!

NaNoWriMo Kicks Booty

On Novemeber 1st, 2011, I (with a bunch of other crazy people) began a treacherous writing project called NaNoWriMo. That stands for National Novel Writing Month.

This dude is Chris Baty, genius extraordinaire.
The brains behind NaNoWriMo.

Goal: Write a 50,000 word novel in the month of November. If you're not sure how big of a book that is, it's the size of The Great Gatsby. (Side note: The Great Gatsby movie is being remade with Leonardo DiCaprio and I cannot wait!) To stay on top of the words and to work at a steady pace, that's roughly 1,700 words per day.

This was my first official participation in the wonderous writing event, but I had done this before for a novel class with prof. Trembley at Hope College. BEST class of my entire life.

Anyway, let me brag on NaNoWriMo for a second. I just finished two days ago and I am already excited to do it again next year. If any of you have ever thought, "Oh, I'd like to write a book one day..." do this!! Talking about it gets you nowhere but with empty pages and wasted ideas. And if you do it during NaNoWriMo, you have a whole community of people in the same boat as you with lives that are just as busy as your life.

Quite a few people who asked why I was even doing this asked me what happens at the end. Do I get my name out there? Do I win any money? Do they pick a top ten?

The answer to all of those is no. The spirit of NaNoWriMo is not to beat anyone else, it is not to make a monetary profit, it is not even to write a good book.

Here's the deal with this: You're supposed to open yourself to the experience of proving that you can find time everyday to sit down (or stand) and write. Be creative! Go crazy. It's about creating something that you don't have time for. Everyone is busy, but we can't let that stand in the way.

This past November was the craziest month of my life, and it would have been if I didn't participate in NaNoWriMo. But I did. I have the web badge to prove it.

It was hard. There were a few days in the middle where I didn't write at all. (I paid for that later with a few 5,000 word days.) And I didn't even get a very good start. But I learned so much about the writing process and what I am capable of. For instance, I thought I could only do a thousand words in an hour...UNTIL I was down to the final two hours and had 3,100 words to go. I finished all of those words with a half hour to spare. It was the most intense focus I have ever experienced in my life. And even though I had winged the majority of this book, it even all tied together in the end. Bonus: I was happy with the way it ended. I suck at endings!

I learned how to make richer images in my scenes because when you have to write so much in such a short amount of time, you really look for ways to pad the story. I painted vivid images with the strokes of my keys and it actually turned out to be better than just padding. It was something I wasn't very good at before, and now I can take that new skill and apply it to the novel I've been working on.

And I won! On November 30, 2011. Everyone who finished on time won. The people who didn't finish still won, in a different way, because they took a step to begin a novel, which is more than most people who say they'll "one day" write a book do. Bravo to all who started! Bravo to those who finished! 

I almost quit near the end. There was one day my boyfriend, Gary, was over and all I wanted to do was cuddle and watch TV with him, but I hadn't written yet and I knew I needed to. I told him I didn't have any words left in me, but he pushed me to write just five hundred. In frustration, I dug my nails into my hands and then did so. Five hundred words came out slowly, but then the next thing I knew, I had written 1,500 and still had steam. My sister, Jen, also hounded me (pretty much daily) to quit playing Sims or get off Facebook, or stop doing whatever else and write. Getting started is always the worst part, and I'm thankful for the people like Gary and Jen who push me to do what they know I can when I think I can't. I thank every one else who encouraged me along the way, too. I won't name names because this month was a wild blur, and I don't want to leave anyone out because then I'd feel bad.

Then there was someone who agreed with me, at one time toward the end, that I probably couldn't do it, and that was all it took to set me back on fire. I wrote a note of what that person said and tacked it onto my writing board. Then right next to that note, I tacked on one of my own that said "I can make this a reality. In God I have all the rest I need." Above that is a quote I've had on my writing board for quite some time. It's from a Flyleaf song called Believe in Dreams. "Believe in dreams you love so much. Let the passion of your heart make them real." Here's the song if you'd like to have a listen.

  

 The point of this blog post is to encourage you to push through and do what you're passionate about! The best things are the hardest things, most often, because we are pushed and pulled and we grow tired and have to find some kind of strength to keep going. If we quit when we're tired then what do we have? Keep going! You'll find out you can do incredible things you never imagined. Find people that will encourage you. Find out why that thing is important to you and never let that go. Remind yourself of it often. Enjoy moments of relaxation because rest is important, too, just don't stay down and let your dream float on by. Now is the time.

The Story of How My Teacup Betrayed Me

When the tragedy occured, I saw all my life's work flash before my eyes. Thankfuly my computer survived and I can continue to write from my bedroom. Of course, I'll have to find a new writing buddy because my teacup and I are no longer on speaking terms.

Sims Shmims

Last night I went to a women's group meeting at my church--it was our first get-together. After we ate some goodies (You know what's super tasty? Adding a cucumber slice to your cheese and cracker sandwich. It was almost as divine as the chocolate cake.) we went around and introduced ourselves by saying our name and what it is we do.

As I listened to the other women talk about their jobs and their families, I knew I should have felt hesitation about telling them I'm writing a book. Most people think I'm stupid for doing only that and not working or going to school in the meantime. But...I wasn't nervous. I knew I could be honest and open with this group of women. I knew they would get it or at least not judge me for it.

When it was my turn, I told them, with a smile, that I'm writing a book and currently working on the third revision. It's something God has me doing and something I can be proud of. (So often in the past I've said it with...I guess what I would describe as shame coming through my voice.) But I'm not ashamed. I'm excited.

They reacted so well--asked me what it was about and some of them told me it sounded like a best seller. (That one made me blush.) One lady told me God had put the story in my spirit, and yeah--He has. Adira's story is one I know God will use. I see the need for this story so often. And God has placed many clues in my life that this is the very story I'm meant to tell at this time.

Anyway. The past couple days have been a little stressful for whatever reason, and I feel a little bit like taking a mental health day and just playing Sims 3. Actually, saying "a little bit" is a huge understatement. That's all I can think about.

I almost closed the novel and turned on the 360, but then all those supporting, beautiful women popped into my mind and gave me the drive to resist that temptress of a game (And it really is--I get sucked in for hours.) and keep working hard on the book. If any of the said women are reading this--thank you. Your enthusiasm means a lot.
Because of you, today I write.     

This Title Sucks Butt

A quick update for you:

Adira is getting so much better! I've put many hours into shaping her each day since I realized she's not who I want her to be. 

Today I watched Disturbia (one of my favorites) and studied Cale's character to see what I love about him, since I wasn't sure. He's not a super complex guy, but...I like him. So, I got a lot from that and will be looking at some of my other favorite movies the same way. Why movies and not books? Movies are quicker and I don't get caught up in them as easily.


Now onto new business:

I've never liked the title Picture Perfect. I picked it the night before my manuscript was due simply because when I emailed my prof, completely freaking out about having no clue as to what I wanted for a title, she told me it didn't matter--I just needed a title.

I told myself I would change it later, and I just never have. According to this article I just read, it doesn't matter that much anyway because the publishers will probably change it. They know what sells.

I still haven't come up with a title I like (though to be honest I haven't put much thought into it yet). What I have been doing in the past ten minutes is playing with this. If you didn't follow the link for whatever reason, it's a random title generator. For funsies, here are some titles that made me laugh and that I will not use:

...

The Cracked Birth

The Lover's Pleasure (We all know what kind of book cover that belongs to!)

Splintered Sex (lolwut)

Hustler in the Truth
Body in the Someone

The Forgotten Sex (I don't know why I find all the sex titles funny...)

Wet Time (Oh, dear.)

...Ok, I'll stop now. I should go be productive or something. But, hey, at least I found out what I don't want to use for my book! That's partially productive, right?

What's Her Name

I want Adira to stick with people. I want her to move the people who read about her. I want her to be this great girl who goes from victem to survivor heroine. I want people to want to be like her.

What I don't want is for someone to tell her friend about this this book and have it go something like, "Oh, yeah, the story was about this girl...what's her name? Well, I don't really remember her, but her friend was cool, and that guy was cute..."

I still feel like Adira is not quite right. Working on this third revision has been terribly difficult, and over the last few days I realized it's because Adira is a half-formed person that I don't know well enough to write a story about. I know her story--where she starts and where she has to finish, but Adira doesn't possess all the qualities to make her awesome and three-demensional along the way. If her personality had a face, I'm sure it would look like this:

Which is, you know...Picasso. I'm not an artist and I don't spend much time analysing paintings, but this chick looks kind of weepy and about to fall apart into itty bitty pieces. And frankly, she's not easy on the eyes.

I'm revamping Adira and making her into who she should be--a strong, leading young woman/heroine without a cape/someone I hope you'll all love.